Reverse Psychology

I'm outside the office of my therapist yesterday waiting for her to open the door (the building is locked because it's after hours) when something occurs to me: maybe the reason I expect people, particularly adults, to listen to and help me in a supportive way is because I've been seeing a counselor since I was 13 and that's the role they usually play (teachers, etc.). It makes sense. If your parents and other adults are trying to help you because you have problems that need fixing then why wouldn't the subconscious believe that that's what the role of others is? The only problem is I wasn't aware of it and now adults are my peers and I found out the hard way as people have distanced themselves and severed relationships because I've drawn on them for advice and fixing to the point they felt used.


It's amazing how you can be anxiously engaged in self-improvement and busy with a lot of activities and still be complacent without really knowing it. Here I thought I was taking care of myself better than I have for years because I was no longer using psychotherapist and social workers as paid friends, when, unbeknownst to either party, something subtle was playing out that was undermining good intentions. This is not to say I was doing things wrong or that I haven't made progress with the aid of others and shouldn't ask others for help. The problem is that I was vacillating between being independent and dependent and no one was the wiser (or if they were, they didn't say anything).

Unfortunately, it's too late to repair some of the damage I've unintentionally caused. Fortunately, I can move forward with my new awareness and BE a better person because of it.

Be well. Love life. Praise God.

False Advertising

While technically not advertising, the blurbs on the covers of magazine and online side bars are subtly misleading. Because of my training in college and objectivity I can see through them.

Example: Secret Chinese Medicine Tips for Winter Months
What's wrong: The word "secret" is an instant red flag. Secrets are usually not available to the public except when classified information becomes declassified or with whistle blowers. If some piece of information isn't commonly known because of new discovery, lack of dissemination or it's an uncommon topic, this doesn't make it a secret.
Truth: Secrets conceal information a party does not want revealed. 

Example: The dark side of "healthy" wheat
What's wrong: Taking a neutral or generally considered positive subject and focusing on a minor aspect creates the microscope effect; making something seem bigger than it is.
Truth: There isn't always room for in-depth articles. Get the big picture.

Example: The truth about natural foods
What's wrong: Suggesting you don't have the full truth in the first place. This is similar to "secrets."
Truth: Sometimes information is left out intentionally. It's not always for sinister reasons though. Find evidence or at least another credible source to back up the information being presented as "truth."

Conclusion: All of these advertising techniques are based on fear. The statements create a division by creating questions in the mind that suggest those who have this information are privileged:

What might I not know that could hurt me?
What happens if I'm not as good as the next person?
Will avoiding mistakes keep me from feeling pain?

Fear creates a defensive response in people because we're wired to protect ourselves. When we make decisions from a place of fear it may not be a disaster but it can lead to incorrect perceptions that reinforce negative concepts we carry. Remember to take things with a grain of salt and do your homework.